Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Next BIG Step

It's already nine months since we got married. For some couples, planning a family is the immediate next step. But for us, we decided to wait for a year - to give us time to enjoy our marriage by ourselves.

People we know keep asking us when we'll have a baby or why they don't notice any baby bump in my stomach. We casually answer them that we're not ready yet. They thought that we are in our early to mid twenties so it was alright anyway, that we should take our time. But eveytime I tell them that I just turned thirty, I would get the same horrified reaction - I shouldn't postpone pregnancy at my age.

At first it was okay, I just shrug it off but as time goes by it becomes annoying and somewhat disturbing. What do they care anyway? It's our life. And what if we'll have problems conceiving a child? What if we'll be one of those couples who took 5 years or more to get pregnant. So I begin to rethink our decision and asked my husband again how he feels about starting a family.

They say communication is really an important factor to a successful marriage. The funny thing is, we've both been having second thoughts about planning a family until next year. So after a sincere conversation, we've decided that we should try and get pregnant a month or two from now. So I'll better stop taking pills and start preparing my body. Yikes! But I guess excited at the same time. So excited that we already decided on a name for our future baby. Hahaha! I guess it's only normal.

Planning a family is not something like planning a vacation. Not only the physical, but I know I have to keep myself emotionally prepared... This is really a big step for me, for us. I'm scared, excited, and anxious at the same time...


Anonymous said...

Sis, I've taken the big leap and now I'm almost 7 months pregnant. The difference was that no one was pressuring me to get pregnant :) and now, everyone is having problems with the fact that I'm single and pregnant :) My almost-husband is very supportive and we're in an almost-married situation (living in together). I'm excited myself... even scared. But I'm leaning more on the excited part :)

Anonymous said...

I don't believe that there's a set time for people to have kids... my parents didn't have my sister until about 6 years after they were married then almost 7 years before they had me. no family planning, just accepted what God gave them, according to my mom. I'm glad you and your hubby are on the same page :D

Anonymous said...

Good luck on having a baby sis! ^_^

I am single (although I have a boyfriend) and in my mid-twenties (but I only feel 16, haha!) but I already fear waiting til my thirties to have a kid. Weird, I know. But the thing is I don't want to be like my mother who had me when she's 30. The gap between us seems too great and I don't want the same to happen to me and my kid. >_<

mel of mmdc7 Online said...

Hi sis! kaya mo yan. pray ka lng.. God will surely help and guide you. ^_^

Ayen said...

thanks for your comments!

@hangingbridge: congrats! nice to know that you're getting the support from your bf. as long as you're not in your teens and you can support your child, i don't really see any problem with that.

@angel: "I don't believe that there's a set time for people to have kids" -> i agree! but im giving in to pressure now. hopefully God will give us this blessing soon.

@blackshirt13: i had that same thinking when i was still in my mid 20s. but when i got married, i realized that starting a family immediately is just not my priority.

@mel: thanks for the encouraging words! we do hope we'll be blessed with a baby soon. =)

Sheng said...

After the wedding, families and friends have been asking when will the baby come. Even my mom is pressuring me to have one right away. But sadly, I have a condition. My TVS showed that I have cyst in left ovary and an adenomyosis, which could be a sign of endometriosis that can impede my chances of conceiving. I had my pap smear test last Tuesday, awaiting for the result next week and another schedule for TVS to confirm the first findings. After that, my OB will decide if I need to undergo surgery or not.

So you're really lucky that you can decide when you want to have a child. For us, we're still waiting and hoping that my condition is nothing serious. Hubby and I already talked and he assured me that if God doesn't grant us with a child, he's perfectly ok with that. What's important is we're together. :'(

Miss Innocent said...

when my bf and i gets married. i actually dont want to have a kid agad.

uhhh i coz i want to travel with him first.

but depends rin im sure everyone in his side will be asking for a kid since my bf is the the First Child in his family and the first apo of his grandparents.

but i still want to wait a year. i want to travel ... :)

dont let people get into you. enjoy your time with your hubby. when you have a kid. .... you know ofcourse..

dont let others pressure you .. its not them who's going to take care of it right?

Ayen said...

@sheng: i had problems din with cyst before, mga first 2 years of our relationship. luckily, it wasn't that serious, nakuha naman ng mga meds. that was one of the reasons din why i had to take pills in the first place. i hope everything would turn out fine with you.

@miss innocent: same here, i wanted to do a lot of things with my hubby first before we start a family. and we did! i love traveling with my husband! but sometimes, when we see couples enjoying their day with their kids, we can't help but feel a bit envy na rin. i'm also afraid that we might have problems conceiving a baby because of my age (30 yrs) so i guess now is the right time. =)

Eden said...

true, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone about these major decisions! you'll know when the right time is when it is, and it will come from you both, not from anyone else.:)

how's being a newlywed (technically)? i'm in a fresh relationship, and these stories are always inspiring!

looking good in the polka btw!

hope you can come visit/follow me, if you'd like:)


Carol said...

This is the normal Filipino trend:
- Pag magbf: Kelan kayo papakasal?
- After wedding: Kelan kayo magkakababy?
- After magkababy: Kelan nyo susundan?
- After maka-4 na sunod: Kelan kayo titigil?

LOL! My point is that you don't have to go along with what they say. You have to know for sure that you are ready. But I think you guys are ready na. I'm pretty sure you'd enjoy having a little kid in the house. Mind you, it's going to be a lot of work. But the rewards are just priceless. Basta, you'll understand once you're there na.