Slow Down, My Loves!

I saw my SIL’s new baby post a few hours ago and I remember how years ago, I was at that stage before. When my three kids were wearing onesies and just lying on the bed giving us their oh so cute stares. I suddenly felt a wave of emotion I wasn’t expecting. At a blink of an eyes, my babies turned into kids and all of them are in school now. 

As you all know, I have three children. The other day, I was telling my husband how they each have their own quirks and attitudes. Each of them has different personalities and each one have their own spark. I look at them and I feel a bit sad that I don’t get to cradle them anymore but at the same time happy to see them becoming their own person. 

I miss being a mom with a baby but I definitely don’t want another kid! Three is already a lot to handle. I just miss holding them in my arms like the tiny precious things they were. I miss the way they’d reach for me with chubby little hands, how their eyes lit up when they see me entered the room. I miss the monthly pictorials and the milestones I swore I’d never forget (but sometimes forget specially my middle child). I sometimes miss waking up in the wee of the night just to breastfeed them and change their diapers. Those days were hard and exhausting but fulfilling too, all at once. 

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At the same time, I’m also excited to see them grow more! My babies are growing into kids with wild imaginations, strong opinions, and hilarious jokes. I love hearing about their dreams, their made-up stories, their wishes for themselves and our family, and the friends they’re making. I love seeing how they develop their own interests too - whether it's dinosaurs, soccer, computer games, gymnastics, ballet, and baking. I see glimpses of who they’re becoming, and I am just amazed! 

Sometimes I find myself just staring at them and noticing how their faces are changing, how their legs are longer, how their questions are deeper. They're really not babies anymore. They're people - real little humans with real personalities. 

Bittersweet. That’s the word I was thinking how raising kids feel like. Bittersweet but also beautiful. Motherhood is full of paradoxes. You want time to slow down, but you're also excited to see what's next. You want to hold them close, but you also want to let them grow wings. 

I'm actually still learning not to cling to the past or rush the future. I know that I am not ready for all the growing up that’s happening, but I just want to be here for every moment. 

Have you had one of those emotional mommy moments lately too? I’d love to hear how you're feeling about your little ones growing up. Let’s remind each other—we’re not alone in this bittersweet, beautiful journey.