Help

When I was single and living with my parents, we always have a helper at our beck and call. However, our parents always make sure we don't abuse them by asking them to get us a glass of water, close the door, etc. You know, simple things that we can do on our own. In short, they don't want us to be lazy. I know some people who treat their helpers like that. When I was living with my in laws, I learned that my husband was like that. Though he asked nicely, I think it made him lazy.

I do not want to depend too much on helpers. We had a few when we had a baby and living on our own, but they do not fit our lifestyles. We are on a nightshift most of the time, so we could not take care of their needs. The last yaya we had was the worst! She was nice. Very enthusiastic. Doesn't need a lot of directions. She is a widower with three sons, so I felt very sorry for her. I gave her some of the clothes and shoes my son got as presents and from my friend (hand-me-downs but still in good condition). The next night, she left us and said she could not bear how I'm mistreating my son. What?! Because she heard me raised my voice at my son who was playing with his spilled milk on the floor? It was a natural reaction coming from a person who got home from work at 4 AM and woke up at 7 AM. She waited until I went to work to pack her things up. When my husband return home from work, she told him she didn't want to work for us anymore. My husband didn't have a choice so paid her days work. He was quite upset hearing those things about me from her. I was fuming mad while at work. More so when I couldn't find some of my son's pajamas and t shirts. I shouldn't accuse someone of stealing, but all our just washed clothes were in her room. I looked everywhere, and I couldn't find them. My son and her youngest boy are almost the same age. So there, I housed an ingrate and thief.

This is why we do not have a househelper or a yaya. Being a family of just three, we do not think we really need one. At least not yet. My husband and I now divide our household chores and taking care of our son between ourselves. It is challenging specially since both of us are working. It is hard, but we are coping. I get to be a housewife and a mother. This fulfills me. I am also grateful that my mother takes care of our son while we are at work in the evening. My mother in law also helps us with our son when my mother can't. Now it is easier for my mother to do it most of the time since she has a helper. Although we don't, she certainly needs one. So who says I'm not dependent on them then?