On Being Twenty Something

Everytime I turn a year older, I always start to question things. What's my purpose in life, what have I accomplished, what I have become. It could because I going through a period of life called "quarter life crisis." I'm sure nothing's wrong with me, just going through a stage. I don't know (or I forgot) where I first saw this article but I liked it and it captured my sentiments. Whoever the author is, Dude, thanks for sharing it with us twenty somethings.

On Being Twenty Something

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."

It is when you stop going along with the crowd

and start realizingthat there are many things

about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder

where you will be in a year or two,

but then get scared because you barely know

where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish

and that, maybe, those friends that you thought

you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest

people you have ever met, and the people

you have lost touch with aresome of the most

important ones.

What you don't recognize is that

they are realizing that too,

and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere,

but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close

to what you thought you would be doing,

or maybe you arelooking for a job and realizing that you

are going to have to start at the bottom

and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger.

You see what others are doing and find yourself

judging more than usual because suddenly you realize

that you have certain boundaries in your life and are

constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable

and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of yourlife.

You feel alone and scared and confused.

Suddenly, change is the enemy

and you try and cling onto the past with dear life,

but soon realize that the past is drifting further

and further away, and there is nothing to do

but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone

you loved could do such damage to you.

Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't

meet anyone decent enough

that you want to get to know better.

Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too

and cannot figure out why you are doing this

because you know that you aren't a bad person.

One night stands and random hookups start to look cheap.

Getting wasted and acting like an idiot

starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions

and questions over and over, and talk with your friends

about the same topics because you cannot seem

to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future

and making a life for yourself...

and while winning the race wouldbe great,

right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this

relates to it.

We are in our best of times and our worst of times,

trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Happy Birthday Ayen!

Last May 16, I turned a year older, (of course) smarter and wiser!
I was actually very anxious and excited at the same time for over a month now, I don't know what to expect for my birthday. My niccolo was utterly quiet about how we'll spend my birthday. All I know is that it'll be at Tagaytay. I was also a bit nervous because Nico might plan something I don’t like or won’t enjoy.

So there it was… my birthday. I was waiting for him that afternoon. He entered our house with this paper bag (no flowers baby?) inside was my gift.

We finally drove to Tagaytay to spend the night alone. I opened my gift and found a new pink gameboy advance! Yehey! It was on my “things to buy” list because most of the time my cell phone will run out of batteries since I’m always playing mobile games. Besides, I want something to do other than surf the net and think about him. So it would keep me pre-occupied these days.

And thankfully, Nico was being himself as well because he doesn’t really have any concrete plans pala for my birthday. Buti nalang I already checked the hotel suggestions at my favorite forum, Girltalk, that’s why we were able to have a decent and affordable place to stay. That night, we were so tired (and I was busy playing Pokemon Emerald on my new Gameboy advance) so we decided to just retire early and continue our simple romantic (?) holiday the next day.

We woke up the next day feeling refreshed! We had our breakfast at Bag of Beans and it was sumptuous! We were soooo full! We went to Calleruega afterwards and have some picture taking sessions. It’s really a solemn place for a wedding ceremony but I want to wed at a church with loooong walkway. Being both matakaw, we had our lunch at Leslies, eventhough we were not that hungry. Feeling full and sleepy we went back to our hotel room to rest a couple of minutes and to fix our things.

It was such a simple celebration, not grand or anything, but I really enjoyed it. More than the Gameboy and all, the greatest gift I ever received is still my niccolo’s love and on that day, it made all the difference.

Summer Fun 2007

After weeks of anxiety and anticipation, MP’s summer outing finally pushed through! Whew! It’s a good thing my fickle-minded friends kept with the initial decision or Nico and I would have another problem with the reservations and everything. Mind you, that’s a first for our barkada! Hehehe!

Last April 28-29, as I’ve said, after weeks of planning we went to La playa resort in Lian, Batangas. It’s owned by a family friend of the Pantaleon’s. Well anyway, we meet at Lynette’s place and from there, we started our 4 hour trip (traffic was terrible as usual at SLEX) going Batangas and arrived at 11am.
Of course, all of us were tired sitting (pretty) for all of those hours so when we arrived, we ate, slept, and rushed to the pavilion to do our favorite past time, videoke! I actually pity Nico. Straight from evening shift, he drive 4 hours to Batangas only to be deprive of a previous sleep. My poor baby.
Once we regained or energy, we excitedly went to the beach. Syempre our outing won’t be complete without our legendary picture taking sessions. Here are some of our pictures, which are mostly in (trying-to-be) sexy poses:

Since Nico can’t sleep anymore, he and Kriz, prepared and cooked our dinner of inihaw na liempo and tilapia with some leftover adobo we had for lunch. After the swim, we bathe, had dinner and rest for a few hours. Then during the evening, we gathered in a small bonfire. We had the usual drinking/kwentuhan/eating session. Now that’s Nico’s favorite moment! But mine was during bedtime. Wholesome to ok?! It was because I slept beside my niccolo around his arms. I just loooove the feeling!

The next day, we went to the beach again to continue our picture taking (yes, bitin pa din kme) Again here are some pictures:

Nico and I didn’t have any pictures together because he was drunk the previous night so he spend the half the day sleeping. We had lunch afterwards and rest/sleep to prepare ourselves for another long journey going back home.
And long journey that was. From Batangas to Tagaytay it already took us 3 hours! So we have to stop over at Teriyaki boy in Tagaytay to have dinner. It took us an hour and of course since that was Tagaytay, we just can’t resist the urge to have our picture taking sessions again.

After 3 more hours, we finally reached home! I was so tired and sleepy because I still have work to do the next morning. Overall, it was a fun outing as usual, even without Algine, Deth & Melben and Tonee & Anthony, it was still another nice memory for me to treasure.

Gone Too Soon

INTERNET CAFE CUSTOMER SHOT DEAD BY ROBBERS
THREE robbers armed with pistol and submachine gun held up an internet café in Manuyo Uno, Las Piñas City Tuesday night and shot dead one of the customers who refused to give up his cellphone.
Case investigator P03 Albert Arevalo identified the victim as Daniel Dulalas, 27, single of Azalea Subdivision, Pulang Lupa and an employee of JP Morgan Chase Center.
Arevalo said the robbers barged into the Click in the City internet café at around 7:00pm and disarmed security guard Pedro Alcaraz of his firearm before divesting the shop and its customers of their valuables.
Dulalas reportedly refused to part with his 3310 cellular phone which caused one of the robbers to shoot him at pointblank range. The suspects took three other Nokia cellular phones, other valuables and P5,000 in cash from shop cashier Wennie Guevarra before fleeing on a motorcycle with no plate number toward Parañaque City.
City police chief, Supt. Josephus Angan said he has already formed a team to track down and arrest the suspects. Dulalas’ body was brought to the Filipinas Funeral Homes. – Ashzel Hacherohttp://www.malaya.com.ph/apr12/metro5.htm

A tribute to A Brave Man:
This was the last minutes on the life of my former classmate and batchmate at St. Joseph’s Academy, Daniel Dulalas. I was shocked when a friend texted me that he died. I thought that he might have succumbed to an illness or some sort. When I replied and asked the cause of death, I was simply stunned! How can this happen to someone I know? Sure, this is not an isolated case. Incidents like this frequent newspaper covers. But it would really hit you if the person concern is somebody you know.
Daniel was a classmate during my 1st and 3rd year high at St. Joseph. He was one of those nice funny guys. He would always make jokes and always have a funny story to share. We weren’t that close in high school but we would always say our “hi’s” and “hello’s” whenever we cross path in the corridors or the street. After high school, of course we went our separate ways but I would still see him in the local parish, every much involve with church activities. As a matter of fact, I was informed that he performed as Jesus Christ during last Holy Week’s “Siete Palabras.” I really felt bad for his family and close friends. They are the ones deeply suffering and grieving right now.
I wasn’t able to come to first day of wake because of my job. I know it’s pathetic; I can’t even spare a minute of my time for an old friend. That’s why I hope in some way, through this blog, I would be able to show my condolences for this great loss. Just like what I told him in my dream last night. May you rest in peace and find the light of our Lord. My prayers are with you. I hope you’ll get the justice soon. You will be missed and remembered Daniel…

Just to be loved

My dog Bambi had been my friend, companion and sometimes my confidant since she brought to us in 2000. At first I didn’t like her because I don’t want to take care of a white long-coated dog, it was just too high maintenance for me. They say that Japanese Spitz are very affectionate and sweet kind of breed (doesn’t all dogs are?) that Bambi is indeed one. She would always come up to me and curl up beside me whenever I’m watching TV or just simply doing anything. She would touch my lap with her paw as if begging for biscuits when she’s hungry; she would also playfully bite my hand to signal that she wants to play; and would also bark like a crazy bitch whenever she wants to go out. She was the typical pet and I was the typical human for her.When my ex-boyfriend died, I distance myself from my family and close friends. I just didn’t think they would understand. I felt so confuse and alone. I needed someone but I still don’t think anyone could help me. During that time, Bambi came up to me. She was looking hard at me; as if she’s trying to figure out that I was feeling back then. I know she felt my sadness because she just lay down beside me with the saddest face a dog could have. I then poured my soul, my despair, my anguish about what happened and she just stayed there and listen until I felt asleep. Sometimes I feel stupid for saying this but she did become my confidant and my friend after that. She’s now 5 years old and I feel she might not live long enough to play with my future children. This is the first time that I’ve been this close to a dog. She and her daughter, Britney, are like family members. My mom would sometimes scold them like naughty children running around the house. Sometimes they act like one. They would cry and stay on one corner if they were reprimanded and starts acting sweet again after 2 minutes. My ideal friend. Uncomplicated. Expects attention but gives nothing but unconditional love.