Shoes For My Blues

For a person like me who takes too long to decide what to wear, I sometimes prepare the clothes for work the next morning. I'm not really a hardcore fashionista who always dress to impress but I make sure my shoes would complement my outfit. Hence, the reason for my habit.

Here's a portion of that habit:

My name is Ayen, and I'm a shoe-holic. =D

Some people call it a waste of money and unnecessary, for me it's a necessity. I have a shoe fetish and I really can't stand to see nice clothes with the wrong kind of shoes. I could understand some people might frown this shoe splurging but hey I'm spending, not them. It's also better than smoking cigarettes! And it doesn't kill.

Luckily, my husband accepted this habit eversince we started dating. Admit it, we all feel insecure sometimes and one of the many reasons I love about my husband is that he knows a new pair of shoes makes me feel good about myself. Knowing that I'm wearing a great pair makes me feel sexy, confident and fashionable.

It doesn't mean though that he doesn't complain. Because he does! Specially everytime I whine about not having many shoes. And that's how I feel - not having enough shoes for every occasion. I use to buy at least two pairs of shoes a month when I was single. Of course I now have to prioritize my "needs and wants" since I'm married.

Sorry for my shallowness. One of you must be rolling your eyes now. Yes, I do know that some people in Africa doesn't even have one pair. Arrg! I'm being too defensive. I guess it's just one of those days when I really can't find a nice pair to wear. I'm know I have a shoe habit but I'm happy to say that it's something I can handle.

The Next BIG Step

It's already nine months since we got married. For some couples, planning a family is the immediate next step. But for us, we decided to wait for a year - to give us time to enjoy our marriage by ourselves.

People we know keep asking us when we'll have a baby or why they don't notice any baby bump in my stomach. We casually answer them that we're not ready yet. They thought that we are in our early to mid twenties so it was alright anyway, that we should take our time. But eveytime I tell them that I just turned thirty, I would get the same horrified reaction - I shouldn't postpone pregnancy at my age.

At first it was okay, I just shrug it off but as time goes by it becomes annoying and somewhat disturbing. What do they care anyway? It's our life. And what if we'll have problems conceiving a child? What if we'll be one of those couples who took 5 years or more to get pregnant. So I begin to rethink our decision and asked my husband again how he feels about starting a family.

They say communication is really an important factor to a successful marriage. The funny thing is, we've both been having second thoughts about planning a family until next year. So after a sincere conversation, we've decided that we should try and get pregnant a month or two from now. So I'll better stop taking pills and start preparing my body. Yikes! But I guess excited at the same time. So excited that we already decided on a name for our future baby. Hahaha! I guess it's only normal.

Planning a family is not something like planning a vacation. Not only the physical, but I know I have to keep myself emotionally prepared... This is really a big step for me, for us. I'm scared, excited, and anxious at the same time...

*picture taken from http://www.digitaljournal.com/image/46049

Polka Loca

A few years back, I was obsessing on skulls. I've bought a few items with skulls printed on it like bangles, earrings, clothes, etc. Save for some, I find it too awkward to wear skull printed accessories for my age anymore. Specially because I'm not into grunge. Haha, that's fashion fad in my face!

Fast forward into today's scene. Ever since polka dots became a hot fashion trend last year (am I right?), I've been so into polka dots lately. Sure I wear polka dots in my bag, pouch, socks, etc but not in my clothes. I guess I don't want to be associated as someone who dresses like a granny. I mean I've always love vintage fashion except in it comes to polka dots. Not my favorite.

Well, look at me now! I have a few items in my closet and it's still growing! I guess it's because the clothes are a bit modern. Hehehe!

Reminiscing

We've been married for more than eighth months already and finally, we were able to get our wedding album and video! We so love it!

Since I married before my kuya, it was the first wedding in our family and so my mother was actually the one who kept asking for the album and video. I bet she can't wait to show it to all their friends and our family. Hahaha!

It wasn't really our supplier's fault that it took this long for the album and video. But if you're only required to submit a maximum 200 pictures out of the more than 3000 shots taken, it might also take you months before deciding on what pictures to include in your album. It also doesn't help when the husband left all the picture selection to you. Gosh, all those pictures, it was really overwhelming!

Hay... It really feels great reminiscing our wedding. =)

Dreaming of Ballet

I was watching the movie, Center Stage, one Sunday afternoon on HBO when I remember how ballet dancing used to be my passion and greatest dream. For the benefit of everyone, the movie Center Stage is about a group of hopeful ballet dancers dancing their way to a limited slot for a final dance workshop, which would showcase their talents.

I love collecting ballerina figurines. You see, when I was a kid, I've always wanted to be a ballerina. I remember in second grade, our teacher asked us to draw what we want to be when we grow up. I was tempted to draw a teacher since it was easier to draw a stick figure with a blackboard at its background. But since I know I would have a difficult time explaining it, I asked my classmate instead to draw me a ballerina. And it felt sooo good telling everyone that I wanted to be a prima ballerina when I grow up.

I thought that childhood dream will soon be a reality when my parents enrolled me in a ballet class when I was in third grade. I enjoyed every minute of it and I also loved our attire - black leotard, pink tights, and pink ballet shoes. But it was really hard - the pointed toes, plie', and splits. I had to endure all the body pains that was just too uncommon for a regular 8-year old.

Looking back, the thrice a week class and a couple of recitals proved just too much for me. My relationship with ballet lasted for just 3 years. At an early age, I realized that no matter how much you wanted something, if you're not that determined and willing to exert a lot of hardwork, then your dream will just be a dream.